Say no to the F*ck Boy

The older I get the harder dating gets because let’s face it I am more set in my ways and I can admit that. I’m at the point I have started to get my life in order, developing my lifestyle and if someone isn’t going to come in and enhance it, then I would rather be on my own doing my own thing.

The older I get the smaller the pool of eligible bachelors gets, I swear it’s getting smaller by the second. By eligible I mean a man that looks after himself, has no kids, never married, has his finances together and a general all rounder. A guy that doesn’t want to split the bill. If splitting the bill is your thing I can respect that, but it’s not for me. I’m not asking for much am I?

But yet I find myself presented with that decreasing pool of eligible men and on top of that I have to contend with the increasing prevalence of what I class as  “f*ck boys” in the form of a full grown man. You would think the older a man gets the more mature they get, and the less likely they are to be “f*ck boys”, but wrong!  My definition off said boy, is a good time guy, minimal commitment, wants to keep his options open and looking to hit and run. He will tell you “I really like you,  but things are complicated right now”, or he’ll say something like, ”baby let’s not label this, let’s just enjoy this for what this is and see where it goes”, and still saying the same thing months down the line. He will be the kind of guy who says we are taking it slow and seeing where it goes for months on end whilst he keeps his Tinder account on the down low, as opposed to actually making you girlfriend official. These type of boys are going to waste your time.

As woman we are predisposed to overthinking thinking things and we pick dating of all the things to be eternally optimistic, I mean really. Whilst we try to make excuses for why things are the way they are. We talk ourselves and our girlfriends into things like, “maybe he is just confused and deep down he really likes you.” I have been here many a time and I am guilty of saying the exact things to my girlfriends. Until I reflected and it dawned on me that I wasn’t doing myself or them any favours, because if you are spending that much trying to work out what’s going on, hun he’s just not that into you!

I have come to the point where I’m done with all the games, I just don’t have time for it, I’m done with the excuses. I just want to know where I stand and I have no desire what so ever to waste my time or theirs, because frankly I have enough of my own shit to worry about with life in general, let alone the addition of a “f*ck boy”, in the mix.

At the end of the day I want a man who is going to compliment my life and make it better, if he isn’t going to bring something special to the table, then guess what I don’t want to know. One of the best pieces of advice I have learnt during lockdown and it’s pretty simple…

“If he likes you, you’ll know and if he doesn’t you’ll be confused” and I for one am done being confused. So if you see the signs, start running the other way as fast as you can!